


The Rubber Ducky Ratiocination

by victoria_p (musesfool)



Category: The Middleman (TV)
Genre: Bubble Bath, Gen, Humor, Rubber Ducks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-30
Updated: 2010-07-30
Packaged: 2017-10-10 20:49:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/104124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musesfool/pseuds/victoria_p
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Everybody needs a bathtime buddy, Dubbie!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Rubber Ducky Ratiocination

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Nichole for letting me spam her with this on AIM.

When the water went out in the illegal sublet Wendy shared with Lacey, Wendy packed up her clothes and her favorite towel (the towels at Middleman Headquarters were always rough and scratchy; she thought Ida did that on purpose, because the Middleman didn't seem to have any problem with them, and looked at her in confusion when she mentioned it) and headed to HQ.

Ida grunted and turned back to her online mahjong game when Wendy passed her on the way up to the showers; nice to know the world wasn't in peril at the moment. Hopefully, it would stay that way long enough for her to wash her hair and shave her legs.

She stepped into the locker room shower and hung her towel on the hook provided. She slipped off her pajama pants (no reason to get dressed if she was just going to get undressed for a shower and then redressed afterwards) and was about to pull her tanktop off over her head when she heard an odd humming sound.

The acoustics of the shower were strange--she couldn't tell at first where the sound was coming from, but she was sure there was no one else in the room. She picked up one of the decontamination scrub brushes and hefted it like a baseball bat, so surprise wouldn't be her only weapon. If someone had infiltrated HQ, had gotten past Ida, Wendy knew she'd have to strike hard and fast to take them out before they realized she was there.

She scouted the perimeter of the room and discovered a door she hadn't seen before. It was propped open and there, in the middle of a smaller tiled room, was a large, claw-footed bathtub.

Which currently contained the Middleman and a whole lot of bubbles.

"Islands in the stream, that is what we are," he warbled. Badly.

"Boss?"

"Dubbie!" He straightened up, like he was going to stand to greet her, and then sunk back down, like he'd just remembered he was naked and covered in bubbles. "What brings you here?"

"Water in my building is out. You?"

"There were some rogue cow-tippers out at O'Leary's farm."

"Rogue cow-tippers?" Somehow, that was weirder than superintelligent apes or vampire puppets. "Why didn't you call me?"

"Thoughtless miscreants. Nothing I couldn't handle on my own, Dubbie. Unfortunately, they were cleverer than I gave them credit for, and ambushed me with some cowpies before I collared them."

"I see."

"It was quite unpleasant," he said. "But they're paying for my dry cleaning with their allowance."

"Okay, then." She'd learned early on in her time with him that sometimes it was just better to accept whatever he said and move on. "I'm just gonna--" Wendy tipped her head back towards the showers.

"Would you like to borrow my [**bubble bar**](http://www.lushusa.com/shop/products/bath-shower/bubble-bars/temple-of-truth)? Lacey gave it to me. It's sandalwood. Quite relaxing." He shifted and in the ebb and flow of bubbles, Wendy caught sight of something small and yellow floating in the tub with him.

"Is that a rubber ducky?"

It could have just been a trick of the light, but Wendy could have sworn he blushed. "Everybody needs a bathtime buddy, Dubbie!"

She grinned. "Is that an invitation?"

He was definitely blushing as he sputtered. "Calgon, take me away! Not everything has to be about sex, Dubbie!"

"If you say so, Boss." She turned to walk away, then turned back. "Does the rubber ducky have a name?"

"Of course not. That would be silly."

"Oh, yeah," Wendy replied. "_That_ would be silly."

As she headed back into the shower room, she could hear him start to sing again. Peeking over her shoulder, she could see him holding up the rubber ducky as he sang. She shook her head and laughed softly. Only the Middleman.

Once she was standing beneath the spray, she chimed in on Dolly's part. Hey, she figured, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

The End

~*~


End file.
